dayfifty

The day that changed everything. The day I found out I’m going to be a mom.

27 January 2014

A chilly winter's walk and Living Arrows 4/52 - a combined post






Last week I realised I need to stop being such a pansy-ass-mother and start taking my son out more. I spend so long agonising over silly questions like; "Where should we go", and "How long will it take?", and "Will we be back in time for Chuck's nap?", and "Will he fall asleep in the car?' that by the time I've made a decision, it's usually too late to go any where. Which inevitably means we end up stuck in the house.

So I decided, with no forward planning, to take my little boy out for a very chilly morning walk around our local, and historical, garden centre. We walked, talked and checked out some animals. The rabbit was quite fascinating to Chuck but the fish paled into insignificance compared to the cupboards on display.

We shared a lovely cooked breakfast and walked and walked [and got stuck] in the maze until Chuck couldn't walk any further. I thoroughly enjoyed our morning. That morning was a bit of a revelation to me, I realised how simple and uncomplicated our time together can be, that I don't need to force or plan activities to do together. We can just be. Watching him roam around freely and giving him the time and space to explore and investigate the world at his own pace was so valuable and refreshing to me.

I've long considered home educating Chuck but have found it terribly difficult to come to a conclusion for fear of; not being good enough, not having enough time to myself and not enjoying it. But this morning out taught me that home education doesn't have to be daunting, I don't have to mourn the time I'll loose for myself because of all the other grandiose things Chuck and I will have gained. I realised how easy and organic home education could be and that I don't have to pile all the pressure in the world onto my shoulders to be an awesome teacher because, actually, that wouldn't be my role. I wouldn't be his teacher, I'd be his guide and companion. And that thought makes my heart flutter about inside. It feels right. Right now, it feels right. That's not a decision - just an observation - but if I can continue to see the world through his eyes it might just make making that decision* just a little bit easier.

~

I'm always a little late to the game. You'll have discovered this by looking at when I last posted [how long ago?] but I've [finally] decided to join in on the Living Arrows project currently being run by I Heart Snapping; a collective of snap-happy-mamas [and papas I'm quite sure]. I'm only 4 weeks late to the game, in true Stephanie-style.

The aim is to capture and share the beauty of childhood through our eyes* and I think this post certainly captures the beauty of Chuck's childhood, if only because of the potentially life-changing revelation I had about his future education. This really could be a huge turning point in our lives and so I felt it was worth documenting.

The reason I combined these posts is because I wanted to join in the Living Arrows project but I also had an important moment to document. I think, although I'm told there are no rules, that you're supposed to pick one image so if you insist on holding the meat cleaver to my head, then I'd choose the picture where you can see the back of Chuck's head as he's looking down the paths. Y'know to symbolise this ere crossroad, and that.


* if there's anyone else out there who struggled with this decision and who has any pearls of wisdom to share on the matter, please do tell..I'd love to hear.
**or camera, ahem.

8 comments:

  1. That hat <3 and the first picture is stunning also.

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    1. Thanks Jenni, it was a tremendously pretty morning. And that hat! That hay gets a lot of attention. :)

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  2. Hi there, I'm joining in with Living Arrows to on www.mummykarma.wordpress.com and live your little fella in his bobble hat! Then I read your post and just wanted to let you know that, after 2yrs in school, we decided to home ed our eldest (and by default his younger brother too). It was a decision we agonised over and so far we've not regretted it for one second. I wish I'd done it from the get-go to be honest. Feel free to nosy on my blog (it's not a homeschooling blog but I've talked about it quite a lot) and ask any questions you want to x

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    1. Thank you so much for commenting. I've just finished reading your 'About a Boy' post and I have to say the first half reminded me so much of my son (the before school bit) and the second half really reminded me of myself and the struggles I faced at school. I think part of my hesitation to make the decision is based on the fact that I feel like I don't have a strong enough reason to do it, unlike your family. But actually, reading your post and it resonating so much with me makes me wonder if I could have been one of the other 30% of visual spacial learners. Anyway, I guess I have to try to remember this is his journey, not mine, but I sure do like the idea of him being able and secure enough to just be him. I'll definitely check in with you again to share your experiences. And I may very well take you up on your invite to ask questions :)

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  3. I love the second photo so much! That little face!

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    1. Thank you Hayley. It was a tough choice between the hat photo and this one...I think I secretly favour this one ;)

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  4. http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Hackschooling-Makes-Me-Happy-Lo;search%3A/

    I found this super interesting! Maybe it can provide a little wisdom :)

    x x x

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  5. I have a little boy who would LOVE that bobble hat ;)

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The day that changed everything. The day I found out I'm going to be a mom.

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